Don't be a boob punch

Lexi, 24, Alan Rickman, ever increasing amounts of Benedict Cumberbatch.

arminarlert:

reminder that if we’re in a mutual and you’re under the age of 18 and find it creepy or weird that i’m following you back as an adult then let me know and i’ll unfollow and it won’t need to be a big deal at all… like, please put your own safety and wellbeing first 

jennytrout:

chiavedisol:

snoots-and-boops:

i swear I’m not a model

Never before tumblr did I think I’d find snakes to be cute

And now, with the weather, a snake with a little toupee on. Snake?

Welll, Jim, it’s going to be warm over by my heat lamp, and a little on the cool side near my water dish. Back to you, Jim.

Thank you, snake. I don’t know why we hired you.

hannoie:

necessary-sass:

simplyskai:

googlearths:

missdoodle:

blackandgreyrainbow:

Real Christians aren’t assholes

In High School I had a friend who was super religious, her whole family was. Despite this, she was pro-marriage equality, pro-choice, and never once tried to convert me or make me feel bad about my own religious decisions (I was and still am an agnostic). She was always kind, and treated everyone with respect, regardless of race, religion, or orientation. For her the heart and soul of being a Christian was to love others and treat others with dignity. She was a real Christian. 



REMINDER: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE USE JESUS AS AN EXCUSE TO BE AN ASSHOLE EVER. NEVER.

I’m a Christian and this is how the fucking religion works. Love. Not hate.

THANK YOU.

hannoie:

necessary-sass:

simplyskai:

googlearths:

missdoodle:

blackandgreyrainbow:

Real Christians aren’t assholes

In High School I had a friend who was super religious, her whole family was. Despite this, she was pro-marriage equality, pro-choice, and never once tried to convert me or make me feel bad about my own religious decisions (I was and still am an agnostic). She was always kind, and treated everyone with respect, regardless of race, religion, or orientation. For her the heart and soul of being a Christian was to love others and treat others with dignity. She was a real Christian. 

image

REMINDER: DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE USE JESUS AS AN EXCUSE TO BE AN ASSHOLE EVER. NEVER.

I’m a Christian and this is how the fucking religion works. Love. Not hate.

THANK YOU.

koobaxion:

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.

Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.

So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.

So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).

Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”